Over the weekend I took the opportunity to swing by one of the larger Gamestops in my area to look for a copy of Touch Detective 2 1/2 (now reduced to $9.99 new!). In what is most certainly a rare occurrence, they actually had the game in stock and sealed, they honored the price drop, and they rang me up without asking me if I wanted to preorder Metal Gear Solid 4 or whatever the push of the week is. Unable to stand for a positive transaction at Gamestop, I quickly scanned the store for something to bitch about. I didn’t have to look far as there was a stack of these beauties right next to the register…

Wow, so, um, the dudes who write for Game Informer are going to spend their economic stimulus checks at Gamestop? And the editor thinks I should too? Totally will do! If some sepia toned jackasses tell me that doing this is going to make more people think games are art I can’t not comply. I wonder if they’re getting some kind of kick back from that? Oh wait, of course they are, since the sole purpose of Game Informer is to move Gamestop merchandise. It’s one thing when they wrap it up in a magazine format and have to manufacture actual original content to go with it (even if it amounts to little more than “10/10 preorder this game now or INTERNET MEME”), but it’s a whole different beast when it’s nothing more than a shopping list on chemically treated paper. And why the hell does the Game Informer staff need this shit? You’re telling me that a bunch of guys who work as professional game reviewers at a massive video game publications are eagerly checking their mailboxes every day for their tax refunds so they can go out and buy a Playstation 3 controller? Somehow I doubt it, although this may support the theory that they don’t actually play the games they review. Controllers are pretty important for reviewing games.

Just as I was ready to punch myself in the face and burn down the store, I noticed something interesting inside the pamphlet.

“The Real American Gamer.” Damn. That was going to be my handle. But wait what’s on The Real American Gamer’s wishlist? Only the best titles out there! None of which happen to be made in America. In fact, every title on his wishlist is an English port of a game developed in Japan.

And then I thought “oh, I get it now!” This is a bit of clever satire. See, we’re getting these economic stimulus refund things because our economy is royally fucked right now. We’ve got national debt, external debt, crazy interest rates, massive current account deficit… we’re in trouble, and unless people start stimulating our internal economy we’ll be in a recession by the end of the year. So, how would The Real American Gamer spend his stimulus check? He’d send it all to Japan for crazy anime chicks and overwrought war dramas.

Voltaire, eat your heart out.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 12th, 2008 at 4:57 pm and is filed under Observed. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.