Maybe this is obvious since this blog is already nerd central, but: I like comic books. Not just the super hip Pantheon allegory of the week either. I like comics that have people in costumes mindlessly punching other people in costumes. I like Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman, no matter how ridiculous they may be.

I like superheroes because they are familiar, reliable and occasionally surprising. There has been a new story about  Batman published every month for the entire time I have been alive. And, barring some kind of cataclysm that destroys the entire planet, people will continue to write stories about Batman long after I am dead. He is iconic, and his core character is widespread enough to make him immortal, if only in the abstract.

This massive cultural penetration also makes it easy to serialize the adventures of such a character, independent of the medium. People know that Superman is from Krypton, that he’s invulnerable, and that he’s a boring Boy Scout. People know that Batman’s parents were murdered, that’s he has no super powers, and that he’s as goth as my eighth grade girlfriend. A writer doesn’t need to reiterate this constantly; he can assume the reader is familiar with the character. There are reasonably permanent motivational traits for these heroes and villains that were established long ago. This allows an uncanny freedom from a storytelling standpoint; it allows the writer to shape the character uniquely and tell the story that they want to tell.

Which is more or less the opposite of how writing for a video game works. As an uneducated casual gamer twelve steps removed from the actual creative process of developing a video game, I feel qualified to make such a statement. I have gained a magnitude of insider knowledge about the average development process after that one time I drove through Boston and kinda sorta saw the Harmonix headquarters from Interstate 93. Let’s look at this list of MURDERFACTS™ I’ve compiled on the subject.

1. Mass market video games are developed by teams of trillions and cost infinity dollars to make.
2. Games have to be engaging on a ludic level above all, otherwise the narrative element will not be experienced by the player.
3. The lead designer of Far Cry 2 once got into a bar fight and totally ate the other dude whole.
4. Franchises become franchises due to strong sales, and tampering with the formula doesn’t make sense from a business standpoint. Especially when a company has infinity trillion dollars on the line¹.

So we are left with this cycle: a game is made, the game sells well, and then the game is remade again and again with partial tweaks to the formula.

In 1986 I got the Nintendo Entertainment System for Christmas, packaged with Super Mario Bros. I had to rescue the princess. 23 years later I’m still doing the same goddamn thing in every Mario platformer to hit the market. Legend of Zelda titles try to innovate a bit (Majora’s Mask was an excellent experiment in the defamiliarization of routine²), but they always boil down to collecting equipment in order to overthrow some incredible evil.

I’m all for tradition, but I like these characters. I grew up with them and I want to see them in interesting situations. I want to react to what they’re doing (or rather what my input as a player is allowing them to do) and be completely engrossed, on the edge of my seat. Like I am with comic books. When I heard that Batman died, I freaked the hell out, got sweaty palms and started thinking about what that means for Batman³. Because I like Batman and writers aren’t afraid to tell interesting stories with him as the vehicle.

But there is an issue with adapting such an approach for gaming (aside from the square root of negative monies). That issue is you and I, reader pal. When a creative type tries to abstract the narrative from tradition in an established gaming franchise, the internet explodes. It can be gruesome.

“WHY IS SONIC A KNIGHT WITH A SWORD AND STUFF? WHY IS HE A WEREWOLF IN THAT OTHER GAME? THIS IS LITERALLY WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST.”

Well… why shouldn’t he have a sword or be a werewolf? Do people care enough about this character to be insulted by a variance in style and tone that was conceived to make the game a worthwhile experience? Sonic is a blue hedgehog that runs fast. That’s about it. I think he might have a pair of red shoes and an interspecies life partner. I’d like to encourage the developers to explore areas such as lycanthropy and Arthurian lore if it means the game might end up interesting. It’s not as if Sonic games are flawless examples of gameplay and such narrative freedom would lessen the entire work. There are only so many ways you can say “move to the right side of the screen to win.”

The evolution of a superhero story is almost like a fugue: interpretations drift around the central theme, borrowing various elements, but each iteration is distinct. The Superman that debuted in Action Comics #1 is very different than the Superman you or I have known through our lifetimes. Every writer and artist has their own interpretation of a character; they can choose which aspects of the mythology to include or ignore and just focus on telling the story they want to tell. And then we, as readers, can experience stories about animal rights and free will. Or cigar smoking imps from the fifth dimension. Whatever, you can pick and choose.

So how’s this:  the Electronic Entertainment Expo last May hosted a few surprises.  Hideo Kojima, creator of Metal Gear Solid 2 (and I guess the other games in the series), is overseeing a new Castlevania title. Team Ninja, responsible for games involving ninjas, are developing a new Metroid game.

Without knowing any details about either game, I will say that this is good news.

I’m a huge Metroid guy (the header on this blog might give that away), so my natural fanboy reaction was to flip out and troll message boards naked.  This Team Ninja interpretation could be terrible!  But it could also be great.  While I’d obviously be very upset if they turned the main character into a telepathic pole dancer, I appreciate that the owners of the property are reaching out to fresh talent and letting them try something new.  I think we’re at the point where developers can start exploring Samus Aran’s other adventures. You know, things that don’t involve hunting metroids… a species that has gone extinct roughly eight times. She’s a bounty hunter, after all. Her character has been defined well throughout the series: she is focused, efficient and deadly. So let’s run with that and throw down some awesome stories.  Before the characters I grew up with bore me to tears.

COUNTERPOINT! Games based on established intellectual properties have the notoriety of being terrible.  Why is this?  Is it because the motivations of a character are seen as limitations when trying to develop mechanics?  Does working backwards, from aesthetics to core gameplay, hinder the creative process? Do designers just break down when trying to make a video game that features a protagonist who does not kill?

Tune in for the answers to these questions and more after I’ve had a chance to play through Batman: Arkham Asylum.  Same Murder time, same Murder channel!

Or, you know, just work that one out in your head, since I’ll probably forget about this blog post tomorrow morning.

1. Wonderful Thought: You know that board game Risk? Every time I’ve played it, who would win was obvious within the first thirty minutes of the game, but we kept playing for three more hours doing the same shit over and over again until no one had any assets left. That game is just like real life!
2. Does that even make any sense?  There’s a lot to say about Majora’s Mask, but I think the way it makes you aware of the repetitive nature of games by presenting a literal routine that you can slow down, speed up, or rewind is jaw-droppingly awesome.
3. Oh, um, SPOILER ALERT: Batman died. Or, more accurately, he was displaced in reality by an Omega Sanction. That’s geek speak for “dead until sweeps week.” See Final Crisis for more information.

Because of this, I keep a massive spreadsheet tracking such connections, with colums for things like “movies,” “games” and “moku hanga“. I’m sure most of you do the same. There’s been a lot of noise lately over what should go in the “Lester Bangs” and “Citizen Kane” slots under the video game column. I figured I’d give you readers a little peek at my spreadsheet so we can finally lay the argument to rest.

Got it? Good. Since Lester Bangs is the Citizen Kane of people, it makes sense that Doom II, being the Citizen Kane of gaming, would also qualify as the gaming of Lester Bangs. I’m glad I could clear that up for everyone.

Funny thing: while pulling up the spreadsheet to take this screenshot, I realized that there was one glaring omission.  A gaping white hole, laughing at me, saying “Gamers will never experience a work comparable to me!  You may have your alpha, but there will be no omega!”  It’s true.  I stared at that spreadsheet for hours, racking my brain.  I even Google searched the Wikipedia articles on the Twitter feeds…. double dot commed.  I’m at a loss.  So my question for you, dear readers: where is the Leonard Part 6 of gaming?

If you’ve never seen Leonard Part 6, allow me to summarize: Bill Cosby plays former super spy Leonard Parker. He comes out of retirement to battle a demented vegetarian that has somehow trained harmless animals to kill in an effort to wipe humanity off the face of the earth. He eventually invades the secret world vegetarian headquarters and fends everyone off with a piece of steak. Then he flies away on an ostrich as everything explodes. Even though I haven’t experienced the movie since my parents brought a VHS copy home from the video store twenty years ago, I can recall all these scenes vividly. Sort of like the nightmares I have about Tienanmen Square².

Leonard Part 6 set a new standard for for film. It was a disgusting, convoluted mess of an idea squeezed into a two hour Coca-Cola Commercial that people paid money to see. Produced by, story by and starring Bill Cosby, who was (up until the day Leonard Part 6 was released) considered a comedic legend³.

Leonard Part 6 taught me cynicism.

Right now, I approach games with a cheery disposition. “Wonderful until proven otherwise,” if you will. I see screenshots for a new title and salivate. But when I see a film, the minute I step foot into that theater I start looking at my watch. I roll my eyes at the coming attractions, sigh at every line of clunky dialog, flip off the end credits and trash talk the film during the entire ride home. Because I have seen Leonard Part 6. I have stared into the darkness and seen the eyes of the devil, and he has taught me to hate.  I’ve played Superman 64, widely regarded as the worst game ever made. I thought “Wow, I wish the developers had more time to polish this, because the core concept isn’t that bad.” There are good points to Superman 64.  There is nothing good about Leonard Part 6.

Cynicism amplifies the joy of discovery. We need to lower the bar.  Games will never be considered art until they’ve had a spectacular failure like this that completely degrades the industry as a whole, allowing beautiful works to truly stand out⁴.

The fact remains: without gaming’s Leonard Part 6, we will never have our Ghost Dad.

Also, Super Mario Galaxy is racist, there aren’t enough save points in You Have To Burn The Rope, Atari has abandoned the hardcore crowd and narrative gameplay biddily boop.

1. Someone who has actually played Pokemon is going to rip me apart for that one.  Let if be known:  I have no idea what I’m talking about.  I just used that as an example because it’s a bit easier to relate to than ridiculous Final Fantasy spell names.  And its a much more pleasant mental image.
2. They involve Bomberman holding up his little pink paw to the tank, then getting crushed to death.  I’m not even joking.
3. Not to mention a damn fine dramatic actor. Check out I Spy on DVD and tell me it’s not awesome.
4. I’ve considered ET for the Atari 2600, but ruled it out due to it being an adaptation of an existing work.  We need something along the lines of Kojima teaming up with Clint Hocking to make Poop Till You Scoot: The Game.

Thanks,
Big Jim Murderbloggins

Let’s talk about Watchmen!

If you haven’t read Watchmen: you may not want to read on, because there are minor spoilers in in this entry.

(Also) if you haven’t read Watchmen: please, make it a top priority in the coming months. Not just because I believe it is a beautiful work of fiction, but because any element of surprise will be ruined for you once the movie comes out. Even if you’re not planning on seeing the movie there are plot devices and dialog that will fuel internet memes for the next century. Within six months of the movie’s release America will be overwhelmed by Peter Griffin’s poorly paced conversations with Rorschach and unhappy sitcom wives comparing themselves to Sally Jupiter or something. It’s going to be terrible; gestate the work now while it’s still tolerable.

Watchmen is huge. For me, it was the gateway to Russian literature. I think I was ten or eleven when I first read it. I had been buying tons of Batman books, amazed by how Batman not only lacked superpowers but was also kind of a dick. I asked my local comic book store’s owner (his name was Tom; I can’t believe I remember his name) for recommendations. He said that Watchmen was like “a whole team of Batmen” or some bullshit. I’m sure he could barely contain his fanboyism as a potential convert was within his grasp. Now that I think about it, what kind of guy sells a book about sexually repressed anti-heroes to an eleven year old? No wonder I went goth so early.

Being completely oblivious to that book for a number of years, though, and then nonchalantly purchasing it on a whim… man. It was an experience. I think it’s one of those big moments that will always stick with me: losing my virginity, watching Blue Velvet for the first time, meeting my true love, graduating from high school and discovering Watchmen. Crazy.

As I went from “say, Batman is pretty keen!” to “would Ozymandias’ last monologue be considered a revisionary mythopoesis?” with one trade paperback, I craved more. Other comics weren’t good enough. I grabbed books off my parent’s shelves… I went for the thick ones first, because they had a better chance of containing some meat. Don Quixote, Bleak House, Moby Dick, Tom Jones (in that order!); I recall moving on to a Clockwork Orange, Notes from the Underground, and the Brothers Karamazov at some point before finally settling on Nabokov as my personal hero. I was book crazy! From there I got into film, then painting, then experimental music…

It’s worth noting that when I was eleven years old I wanted to be a lawyer. Now I’m an unemployed artist with an awesome beard. So if you had to trace back a point of deviation for this mirror universe, it’d be when Tom from Pyramid Comics in Levittown sold me a copy of Watchmen decades ago.  I don’t think that comic shop is there anymore.

Anyway: the issue at hand.

If you’re reading this blog, I’m sure that you’re aware how our people feel about licensed video games. In short: they are bad. When I had heard that there was going to be a Watchmen game to tie in with the film version, I was very afraid. A few possibilities entered my mind…

Thankfully it’s not that bad. The Watchmen game (creatively subtitled “The End Is Nigh”) is actually an episodic brawler. Alright, that’s still pretty bad. But at least it focuses on events alluded to in the original graphic novel. Players take control of Rorschach or Nite Owl as they battle members of the Topknot Gang throughout the streets of Brooklyn. You know, there’s a reason that these things were only alluded to in the book. Maybe it will, despite being of a somewhat stale genre, excel in the gameplay department? Here’s a quote from the December ‘08 issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly, which, according to the spine, is “The Rorschach Issue”…

While the fundamental controls are pretty basic (fast attack, heavy attack, throw, and, depending on the character, block or evade), the potential combos are layered and deep, and the finishing moves are brutal–provided you enter the appropriate quick-time commands when prompted. Additionally, the fighting mechanics are designed so that button mashing will suffice for novice gamers, but more skillful play offers greater rewards, like Rorschach’s counterattacks.

Sweet! Quick time events? Combos? Finishing moves? It’s like they distilled Watchmen to it’s very essence. Wonderful. So, let’s break it down with bullet points.

Watchmen: The Novel is about…

• the manifestation of power in sociological context

• the delusions of Reganism

• visual language as an extension of content

• the motivations of modern cultural archetypes

Watchmen: The Game is about…

• pumping out a Streets of Rage clone to tie in with Watchmen: The Movie and Watchmen: The Lunchbox

Putting aside my personal feelings about Watchmen, I’m mostly perplexed by the need to turn every intellectual property into a franchise. The typical merchandising campaign is spread across so many industries that quality assurance becomes difficult and creative control is nearly impossible. For some properties it may make sense, as Transformers and G.I. Joe are envisioned as franchises and engineered to make as much money as possible in any form. But do we really need a Big Lebowski action figure or a Sopranos bowing ball? If you can be convinced that these tie-ins exist because someone is passionate about the property, you are delusional. They are manufactured because large corporations want to profit off of your enthusiasm.

Licensed video games are especially hurt by this due to the sheer amount of work required. Games that are anything above mediocre take a lot of people, a lot of time and a lot of freedom. Being tied to a license and held to a one year turnaround is a recipe for disaster. Consider: a developer could spend six weeks perfecting a physics system for vehicle suspension only to be told by the license holders “we dropped the car chase, make that section of the game a skydiving level instead.” Do not forget that video games as a hobby almost went away completely as a result of such constrictions.

In the specific case of Watchmen, attempts at building a franchise seem inappropriate. This is a fairly heavy work with subject matter way beyond that of the normal summer blockbuster. I think a good rule is: if the movie you’re making contains a rape scene, don’t manufacture action figures for it. Seeing little kids with Heath Ledger masks on Halloween was weird enough.  There’s also the fact that the mass marketing of Watchmen characters was addressed in the book itself.

I’m going to guess that the marketing people have never read the book.

At best, the Watchmen game is going to be a decent brawler that has no business being called Watchmen.  I’m curious what will be the next in line for the ill-suited game treatment. If this, of all things, can get a licensed game, where can you really go from there?  Lolita: the Official Game? Oh, wait… that’s already a whole genre. Thanks, Japan.

Many proponents of gaming have long speculated as to what the Citizen Kane of video games will be. Considering what Watchmen has done for comic books as a medium, I think that’s a more appropriate comparison. It bothers me that if, a year from now, I ask someone what the think the Watchmen of video games will be, they’ll most likely reply with “Watchmen? Dude, that game sucked.”

Postscript: This is mentioned in the EGM article, but a Watchman game already exists. Not only that… it’s actually quite good, most likely due to the involment of Alan Moore. That’s right: Alan Moore signed off on a game based on his work. The kicker is that it’s an RPG. You know, like, a real RPG… the kind that requires imagination and interacting with other people and basic math skills. Mayfair Games published a sourcebook in 1987, along with two scenario modules–”Taking Out The Trash” and “Who Watches the Watchmen?” I have the modules but have never come across the sourcebook for a reasonable price. There were also lots of lead miniatures to go with it, which I would love to get my hands on. It’s crazy meta, as well; check out the scan below.

I’ve resisted purchasing my own copy Rock Band for a few reasons. One, it’s almost two hundred bucks. Two, it’s best experienced with friends; I assume that if I ever make some, they’ll probably own the game. Three, I feel it’s lacking some essential artists: Pink Floyd, Ween, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, etcetera (I’ve come to terms with the fact that My Bloody Valentine and Throbbing Gristle would not contribute to an enjoyable rhythm game experience). Jamming on “Suffragette City” is cool and all, but the type of music I associate with the term rock band has been entirely absent.

So: this morning, rejoicing. At least one of those issues has been rectified.

I’m what most people refer to as a pseudo-Beatles fan. I own all their albums, have all the lyrics memorized, and even know various dates and names integral to their history as a band. So, basically, I’m not much of a fan compared to most people. After all, I value Yoko Ono’s artistic contributions to society, which is grounds for a lynching in certain parts of the world. But I still enjoy the cumulative output of The Beatles and the idea of playing fake instruments to all their songs has me salivating.

Then I thought about it for a bit. What will this game actually consist of? Are there going to be stylized 3D models with massive mop-tops? How, exactly, is the catalog of such a historic group going to be presented? This could be bad, pal.

Is there any sort of narrative tied to existing band simulation titles? I’ve only experienced Rock Band with a group of friends, choosing songs as we go. I’m aware of some vague “career mode” but I can’t imagine it being very deep. Maybe you throw the disc in on occasion to find “Your avatar is climbing mountains in Tibet trying to find himself; please check back in a few months.” I have no idea. My question for you, dear reader: Is Rock Band as a platform capable of presenting anything other than a well engineered rhythm game? There is a very interesting opportunity that this license presents.

Imagine, If You Will: August 28th, 1964. You’re in a band with three of your buddies. Al Aronowitz (the original gonzo journalist) takes you up to the penthouse suite at Hotel Delmonico in New York. Inside is Bob Dylan and some marijuana. You’ve never tried it before, so you instruct your drummer to give it a test run. Soon everyone is rolling on the floor in fits of giggles and Brian Epstein is questioning the laws of gravity. Next thing you know, you’re in a car about to be sick, spouting dialog like this:

Now compare such an event to what I just found searching for “rock band cutscene” on GameTrailers.

The Beatles are not only a band that many people worship, they also have defining moments in their history that present actual drama and interest. There’s a story to tell that, if done correctly, can elevate music simulators past the category of simple point seeking and leaderboard dominance. Forgive me for dropping a ‘C’ bomb here, but: it could be cinematic.

There’s so much that can be explored… starting as The Quarrymen playing skiffle standards all over Garston, then moving on to simple pop and signing with Parlophone (hopped up on Preludine the whole time). The first big tour kicks off with a residency in Hamburg. Paul McCartney starts a fire in the hotel, gets arrested and ends up deported. Stuart Stutcliffe stays behind and dies of a brain hemorrhage. And they haven’t even recoded their first album yet.

There is real drama to The Beatles that most games struggle to invent. Drugs, politics, religion, cultural revolution… all the staples of top tier stories are there. I can picture segments in my head: ending with the rooftop concert, a credit scroll covering certain incidents from 1980, then an epilogue in 1994 for a performance of Free As A Bird. That would be some heavy shit.

I think that the whole experience can be presented in an educational and engaging manner, and I realize we could also end up with what equates to just a version of Rock Band that contains only Beatles tracks. Or, even worse, events could be incorporated in a completely inappropriate fashion (a arm wrestling Imelda Marcos mini-game? boss battle against Jesus?). But the way this project is being billed as a complete Beatles experience as opposed to a Beatles rhythm game gives me hope. Being able to physically experience the career of a musical group along with a narrative that can provide historical context is such an interesting prospect. Listening to a CD copy of Rubber Soul does not tell you why Rubber Soul was important. It can’t offer you an interactive exploration behind the motivations of it’s creators; it can’t show you photographs from Vietnam or give you a history lesson on Americanization. A video game can. Wrap your head around that one: a video game!

I’m constantly amazed by games that function as teaching tools. Not just what’s marketed as edutainment, but the actual big blockbusters people line up for. The majority of gamers who purchased Brothers In Arms: Hell’s Highway had probably never heard of Operation Market Garden before popping the disc into their console. That’s kind of spectacular, right? The historical grounding, not the part about the failings of modern educational systems. I know that I had no idea who Hammurabi was before playing Sid Meier’s Civilization. I think Call of Duty: Modern Warfare may have changed how I view international conflict forever just due to it’s incredibly accurate depiction of, uh… modern warfare. We are capable of absorbing any history lesson when it’s presented in a manner that’s easy to digest (i.e., engaging on an interactive level), and, indeed, most games that teach something are restricted to history lessons. So how about a game that takes that a step further, a game that covers artistic response to social and cultural conditions? That’s exactly what Rock Band: The Beatles can be if it’s creators choose to go down such a path.

If this actually works, I’ll wait with baited breath for editions featuring The Traveling Wilburys or The Plastic Ono Band. Hell, why stop there? Let’s have a Patti Smith game featuring spoken word performances accompanied by footage of Israeli air strikes, or a Jazz Band title that covers not only the history of prohibition but also some oft-ignored issues from that time period. A developer could release Prepared Piano Hero: John Cage Edition and wait for America’s youth to reach a higher level of consciousness while trying to figure out why they keep failing on 4′33″. The expert level note chart for that track would be insane.

Let me reiterate here: I am hopeful. This could be the start of a very good thing. Also, two guitars, a mic, and a drum kit aren’t enough for a Beatles rhythm game. It better come with a tiny plastic Mellotron MK-II controller. That would be so unbelievably bad ass.